Archive for August, 2015

‘Twas the Night Before Xmas…

If you want to buy a Model S and want a $1,000 discount, feel free to use my code:

http://my.teslamotors.com/models/design/referral/greg8061

And enjoy the poem!

‘Twas the Night Before Xmas…

‘Twas the night ‘for Xmas and all through the forum,
The posters were antsy, they’d thrown out decorum!

Their stocks had gone up at the end of last week,
In the hopes that St. Elon would send out a Tweet.

The Res. holders were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of falcon wings danced in their heads.

While Bonnie in her Roadster and Nigel in his ‘S’,
Had just settled down to let their fingers rest.

When over at Fremont there arose such a clatter,
A new thread was started to discuss what was the matter.

LED headlights started to flash,
And v7.0 appeared on the dash!

The moonlight at Hawthorne started to show,
That the launch of this next model was ‘all systems go’.

When what to our wondering eyes did appear,
But the new Model X! This was no mule, dear.

With a wing-walking driver, no way Exxon’s pawn,
We knew in a moment this must be Elon!

More rapid than falcons this SUV came,
And he laughed and joked and called it ‘Insane’:

Now JB, now Deepak, now Franz and Chris Porritt!
On Diarmuid, on Jerome and George B. before it,

To the top of the sales charts, to to the ships in the ports!
get cars to customers, (and Consumer Reports)!

As blurry videos showed before the car was yet driven,
The ‘X’ is amazing, delays are forgiven!

So out to the Founders and showrooms they flew,
Went trucks full of Xs and Elon went too!

And then, in the media, we heard with a cheer,
Motor Trend, once again, said ‘Car of the Year’!

As we checked on our status, and deliv. date projections,
Elon streamed a reveal that showed all the options!

He was dressed all in black, clothes Talulah had picked,
And we swear his sunglasses were electrochromic!

Purchase agreements, he had in a stack,
Those old auto dealers were taken aback!

His projections, how they fluttered, and while recently wary,
50,000 deliveries did not seem so scary,

With autonomous here, and a little more code,
The Model X would have its own ‘Ludicrous’ mode.

The second row seats, how they swivel to greet,
And a titanium shield still lurks beneath,

The nose has a cone and the rear can tow plenty,
And with a big battery pack it exceeds 120.

It was stylish and sleek, an SUMV*,
We all knew the servers would blow at TMC.

This is the future, we’re all into EVs,
And it gave us a great hope for the new Model 3s.

We are grateful for Tesla and all their great work,
Ignore Holman Jenkins, the miserable jerk.

So here’s to the Founders and Signatures too,
Powerwall, Powerpack and Gig Factory 2.

Elon sprang to the Hyperloop, SpaceX had a countdown,
There’s a lot on his plate, don’t let it get him down,

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Solar panels to all, let’s be powered by light”.

*SUMV = Sports Utility Mini Van