Twas the Night Before Xmas

In the last two months I penned a pair of ‘Twas the Night Before Xmas’ Poems, the second one is below.

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Twas the Night Before Xmas II

Twas the night before Xmas, when all ‘cross the bay
All the X fans were stirring – we’re one day away!
The plans to attend the reveal were made clear,
In hopes that our Elon soon would be here;

The S’ were charging snug in their garages,
While Model X owners hoped not for mirages;
JB in his calcs and Franz in his sketches,
Had just arrived to take part in the message;

When down at Solyndra there arose such a party,
That all came a driving, ‘let’s not be tardy!’
They drove and they parked and they stood there awaiting,
Expectations were high for a ‘best ever’ rating;

The moon was abreast, it was tired of eclipsing,
The owners were pumped, we wanted revealing!
When what in the background of selfies appeared,
But the new Model X – it kicked ass, yes, my dear!

With a little old driver, (or an autonomous one?)
We knew in a moment it must be Elon!
More rapid than Einstein his brain it did spin,
And we knew that no one was smarter than him:

Now Porsche, now Aston, now Jaguar and Audi,
On Beamers, on Benzes, hell throw in Ferrari;
Get your engineers stoked, throw out your gas tech,
You’re all chasing Tesla, prepare now to wreck!

As cars that before the reveal party fly,
When they meet with Nvidia, they hail Mobileye!
So out to the stage the reveal Xs flew,
With a whole slew extras that nobody knew!

And then in an inkling we saw on the roof,
The Falcon Wings open, this was living proof!
As I snapped on my iPhone, and recorded with sound,
Down to the stage St. Elon came with a bound!

He was dressed, thank Talulah, in clothes that looked good,
For the Livestream was being sent out to the ‘hood.
A bundle of options were Signature bound,
And the second row seats were made to astound!

The X, how it sparkled, its headlights, how pretty!
And its aerodynamics were .24 ready!
Its dark plastic nosecone was taught as your skin,
And the tint-changing roof glass let some light in.

All doors would now open, with a touch here or there,
And cupholders, cupholders, were now everywhere!
It had a big pack, and room in the frunk,
And third row seats that fold down for a trunk.

It still had great range, Detroit’s out of luck,
And dieselgate execs could only say *uck.
The LED eyes and climate cool seats,
Made me think this reveal would be full of tweets.

We got to peer close, the car looks like art,
Remember this company’s just at its start.
And stomping and pulling close to 1G,
Made us feel it’s ‘game over’ when we get Model 3.

We had a great night, the X wait’s forgiven,
We want to configure and enter production!
So we left feeling good as it faded from sight,
Merry Xmas to all, our dear Tesla’s all right.

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